


The Holds of the Past

by kijikun



Category: Captain America (2011), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Bondage, M/M, Panic Attack, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-25
Updated: 2011-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-24 01:16:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/257247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kijikun/pseuds/kijikun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Capkink prompt: <i>The first time Steve and Tony try something other than plain vanilla sex, they decide to go a little light bondage, with Steve tying Tony down with a tie or something. Only, halfway through the foreplay Tony freaks the fuck out when Steve touches his arc-reactor (courtesy Obadiah and the paralysis incident).</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Holds of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mild bondage, character having a panic attack  
> Beta: metaallu

Tony’s grin is infectious. Steve can’t get enough of Tony’s smiles in all their variety.

And this one, clever and sure, paired with the way Tony looks laid out across the bed, makes Steve a happy man. Tony’s arms are over his head, fingers wrapped against the top of the mattress. He’s all long lines like this, body stretched, back arching slightly.

Steve wants to dip down and taste his stomach. He wants to draw Tony like this.

“Committing me to memory?” Tony asks, licking his lips. “You could always draw a picture, it would last longer.” He shimmies his hips, smiling as Steve's eyes follow the movement.

Steve’s fingers twitch are the silk ties he holds.. “Tony,” he protests, aroused and embarrassed at the suggestion. It’s one thing to think it, another to do it. This isn’t like drawing nudes in art class.

Tony laughs, his eyes dark. “Come on, draw me like one of your French girls.”

“I never drew any French girls,” Steve corrects him. “And I’ve seen Titanic.”

Tony laughs again, arching him back off the bed. “You could still draw me,” he coaxes.

Steve huffs softly. “You’d never stay still long enough,” he mock scolds. He reaches out and drags his fingers down Tony’s stomach watching the muscles tremble at this touch.

“You were going to tie me down anyways,” Tony suggests and waggles his eye brows.

The ties are still in Steve's hands as he leans down to kiss Tony. “I should gag you too,” Steve says playfully, before licking his way into Tony's mouth.

Tony lifts his head up, kissing Steve back almost lazily. His fingers are still curled around the edge of the mattress and Steve finds he likes kissing Tony like this. Tony's fingers and hands are clever and distracting, and when they kiss normally those hands are all over Steve. Like this, Steve can concentrate on the kiss.

Steve presses Tony down on the mattress, making the kiss deeper. He presses his tongue against Tony’s, then across the roof of his mouth, feeling Tony squirm under him. When he lifts his head Tony’s lips are red and shiny with spit.

“Get to it, soldier,” Tony mock orders, breathlessly. Steve watches Tony cross his wrists, offer up his hands and his trust to Steve.

It’s easy to bind Tony’s hands with the tie and Steve sits back for a moment to admire the way the deep blue silk looks against Tony’s wrists. The knot is a simple one, easily undone, but it does the job. The urge to capture Tony like this is as strong as ever.

Maybe another time, he tells himself. Maybe in one of his notebooks that Tony doesn’t know about.

Tony licks his lips, dark eyes focused on Steve. “Steve,” Tony says voice gone a bit hoarse. “You just planning to look?” Tony spreads his legs in invitation. His penis is curved against his stomach, leaking at the tip.

Steve runs a single finger up the length. Tony’s hips jerk upwards. “Maybe,” he allows, loving the soft moan from Tony. “Maybe I just plan to take my time.”

“Fuck,” Tony groans.

“If you're good,” Steve promises, dragging a hand up Tony’s inner thigh.

Tony shudders, breath quickening. “Teasing isn’t good manners.”

Steve laughs and runs his hand up Tony’s right side. His other hand moves down over Tony’s leg, pushing slightly to spread his legs more. Tony squirms and arches under each touch, like just the mere fact of not being able to touch Steve back has heightened everything.

“You like this,” Steve says, and it's not meant to be teasing or anything. It’s just simple fact.

Tony bites his bottom lip before answering. “Yeah,” he admits, eyes dilated.

Steve brushes his thumb over one of Tony's taut nipples, then drags them down towards the glowing device in Tony’s chest. He wonders what it will feel like under his fingers. Will it be warm? Normally Steve’s so distracted, so out of his head with wanting and needing Tony that --

Then Steve’s fingers touch the edge of the arc reactor and Tony -- Tony goes wild.

In a horrible way.

“No!” Tony gasps out, scrambling back. He lashes out at Steve in blind panic.

Steve draws back and holds his hands up, eyes wide. “Tony, Tony,” he repeats in what he hopes is a soothing voice.

Tony has his back to the headboard now, bound hands in front of him as if to protect himself from Steve.

And Steve -- Steve knows this can’t be about him. Not really.

But god it hurts.

Tony hauls in deep lungfuls of air as he shakes his head. He twists his hands against the tie, trying to get them free. Desperate little jerks that do nothing, even against the weak knot.

“Let me untie you,” Steve says softly. Steve carefully doesn’t touch him. He’s unsure what to do, but afraid of setting Tony off more.

When he reaches out though Tony shrinks back more against the headboard. “Don’t touch me.”

Steve draws back. “Okay, I won’t touch you. I’m sorry,” Steve says. He wants to comfort Tony, but how when he can’t touch Tony. “God, Tony, I’m sorry.”

Tony curls his head down against his arms. Steve watches his shoulders shake, feeling useless.

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers. “That was, you shouldn’t have had to see that.” He doesn’t raise his head.

“Tony,” Steve says, sliding closer. “It’s -- I’m the one that messed up.” He carefully unties Tony’s hands.

Tony shakes his head. “You’re not the one that freaked out in the middle of sex,” he says dryly as he lifts his head. He tries to smile and it makes Steve’s heart ache.”Bit of a mood killer.”

“I should have known not to touch the arc reactor,” Steve insists. He should have known. Somehow. Though he doesn’t really understand why Tony reacted the way he did, Steve feels like he should have _known_.

“How could you have?” Tony asks, with a snort. Then he sighs and looks down at his hands. “It’s nothing really.” He tries to give Steve one of his devil-may-care smiles.

It falls flat.

Steve reaches out and curls his fingers around the back of Tony’s skull. “That wasn’t nothing.”

Tony moves his legs slightly so that they’re touching Steve’s. “Pepper avoided it,” Tony says after a long moment. “So it never came up. It shouldn’t have now. Hell, the context isn’t even the same so I --”

“Trauma doesn’t work that way,” Steve says. He thinks maybe he gets it. Putting in the arc reactor, the whole process, must have been -- Steve can’t even imagine. Plus, this is the thing that keeps Tony _alive_ , why wouldn’t touching it cause a reaction?

Tony wets his lips. “Obi -- Obidiah, he took it from me,” Tony’s words are measured, almost too calm. Steve hangs on each one. “Took it out of me.”

Steve recognizes the name. He’d seen it when he was reviewing Iron Man’s history, back when Tony Stark was just a name. Just the son of his dead friend.

“I trusted him,” Tony laughs. “Joke was on me. He came into my home, used my own tech to paralyze me, then pulled the arc reactor out. Then he left me to die. Fun story, huh?”

“Not really,” Steve tells him, trying to keep his voice even. The thought of someone doing that to Tony, of violating his trust like that -- it brings up something fierce and hot in his chest. Tony could have been dead before Steve even knew him and that -- “Touching it made you remember.”

“I didn’t think you were going to pull it out, Steve!” Tony snaps angrily.

Steve leans forward and kisses Tony in response. “I know you didn’t.”

At first, Tony is still and stiff and Steve starts to back off, but before he can Tony’s hands slide up Steve’s arms. It’s chaste as kisses go, but Tony leans into it. When they pull apart, he rests his forehead against Steve’s.

“I trusted him,” Tony says after a long moment of silence. “He -- “ Tony breaks off and closes his eyes.

Steve’s fingers spread across Tony’s skull. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Tony shakes his head. “I think, maybe, I should tell someone.” He gives Steve a small smile. “Know any good listeners?”

Steve gets that, he does. He knows what it’s like to have things inside that need to be said weighing on you. “A few.” He brushes his lips against Tony’s again.

“I’ll have to run them by Pepper,” Tony says, smile growing just a little. He runs his hands up to Steve’s shoulders and rest there, thumbs brushing against Steve’s collar bone. Tony shifts forward, crowding into Steve’s space until their skin is pressed against the others.

It would be easy to press Tony down into the sheet. Tony would go willing and surrender to Steve so damn _perfectly_ but...

Steve doesn’t want Tony’s surrender.

Steve lets Tony crowd closer and push at his shoulders. Tony’s teeth scrape his lips and Steve opens up to him, lets Tony _take_. He’s growing hard again rapidly and feels Tony’s dick already hard against his thigh.

Tony pushes until Steve’s back is against the bed. Steve drags his hands down Tony’s back, coming to a rest on Tony’s ass. Tony has an amazing ass, even when Steve thought Tony was an arrogant prick he still thought Tony had one great ass.. He squeezes gently and Tony rewards him with a playful bite to the shoulder.

“No one would believe me if I told them Captain America is an ass man,” Tony teases.

Steve laughs and rolls his hips up against Tony’s. “I’ll deny it and you’ll sleep alone for a month,” he promises.

Tony groans and braces himself above Steve. “You wouldn’t last a week,” Tony says breathlessly, dipping his head low for another long deep kiss.

Their mouths are slick when they part. “Like hell I wouldn’t,” Steve protests, twisting his hips upwards. They both groan and Tony’s spine arches.

Steve spans a hand across Tony’s hip as they rock together. It’s not hurried or drawn out, just a steady spiral into pleasure. Tony’s eyes are so dark as he looks down at Steve, focus only on Steve alone.

They share air between kisses that become messier and messier. Heat pools in Steve stomach, curls around his spine. Tony’s rhythm has gone rough and his fingers tighten around the sheets where he’s braced.

Steve sees it on Tony’s face the moment before Tony climaxes hot and wet between them. His spine arches, his body shakes, and his mouth falls open. He looks _amazing_.

A few more thrusts against Tony’s slick stomach and Steve’s following after him. He yanks his hands away from Tony’s skin, terrified even as pleasure rushes through him that he’ll hurt Tony.

When the world realigns itself, Tony is draped across his chest, breathing heavily. Steve brings up a hand and runs it through Tony’s sweat-damp hair. He gets a lazy kiss to his throat in response.

“Change of plans,” Tony mummers into his skin.

“Hmm?” Steve asks, expecting Tony to start talking about some improvement to the Iron Man armor or a new weapon for the Avengers plane.

Tony trails his fingers down Steve’s arm, then twines his fingers around Steve’s. “I tie you down,” Tony yawns.”Jarvis, lights off.”

Steve smiles and squeezes Tony’s fingers. “Sounds like a plan.”

He feels Tony smile against his skin. The arc reactor glows between them -- Steve likes it that way.


End file.
